Waiting Mode
ADHD is a “challenge” on any day, but I find “waiting mode” especially stress paralyzing.
*According to Google, "Waiting mode" for ADHD is “A common phenomenon where the brain gets stuck, unable to focus on or start tasks in the hours/days before a planned event, feeling frozen in anticipation, often due to anxiety, time blindness, and executive dysfunction making transitions difficult. It's not laziness but a protective state where the brain focuses on the future event, hindering productivity, with strategies like timers, scheduling earlier, and finding novel tasks helping to break free.”
Here are a few things I’ve been thinking since 4:45am when I got up to pee, take my meds so I can wake up early since I have repair men coming to my house at somewhere between 8am and never, and in-between sleep and 3 different alarm clocks which I’ve dismissed and reset 4 times:
The fungal gnats are ruining my life, maybe I should put the lemon tree back outside and give it the same fighting chance as the ginger plant - I’m no tree-ist, after all.
Just hear those sleigh bells ringaling jing ting tingling too…
I should change my alarm ringtone to something other than jingle bells.
My husband’s snoring actually sounds like a lawn mower today. One that won’t start and you want to take a pillow and smother.
I need to order more dry shampoo.
Come on it’s lovely weather for a sleigh bell.. wait.. it’s sleigh ride. Come on it’s lovely weather for a sleigh bell together with yooouu. Apparently I’m committed to sleigh bell and I’m loyal, if anything.
Ordered dry shampoo. Phew! Needed to do that for 2 weeks.
Do animals know they don’t have thumbs? Like do they feel phantom limb syndrome because they know they really should have them but don’t? Or is it just not that deep for them and they don’t really care?
Outside the snow is falling and friends are calling yooouuu!
Ok. It’s 8:09am… I’m playing fast and loose with life right now. Hubs is in t-shirt and undies, also unconscious, and I look like I’ve simultaneously been electrocuted and tossed around in a dryer. If the repair people show up - we’re going to have to pretend they got the time wrong.
Come on it’s lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with yooouuu. Guess I’m over sleigh bell.
Do people hunt reindeer. Hold on.. Ok. Googled it. Holy moly! I just learned again that reindeer are also Caribou. Also - people hunt them. Does Greg know about this? Wait, does Texas have Caribou? Hold on… ok. No. Texas doesn’t have caribou. Greg probably doesn’t care.
Mango’s head is so soft, he’s so snuggly and now he’s snuggling me. I can’t get up! Maybe I’ll push my wake up time to 8:30am. It’s only 14mins I feel this is reasonable. If the repair men show up while I’m in the shower they can start on the other places in the house and I’ll hurry as fast as I can. I mean, if they hadn’t no showed us twice already this would already be done, so basically I can do what I want.
Don’t squish Mango. Don’t squish Mango. He’ll get annoyed and stop snuggling.
Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum, bum bum bum bum bummmm mister sandman bring me a dream
Omg I just realized why when people wash dishes by filling up the sink, instead of leaving the water running bothers me - it’s like taking a bath to be “clean”. You’re sitting in dirty body water, using dirty body water to rinse off your dirt body. If you washed dishes in a bathtub after a bath, people would be appalled I bet.
Caribou feels plural.. Googled. ugh. Gross it’s like moose - it’s both.
1 more minute and I’m getting up.
I’m not really a supporter of a neural link or something being put in my head for entertainment purposes, but if it lets me speak dog - I would 100% volunteer to be a test subject
Shoot! It’s almost 8:40!
What’s more embarrassing - being caught while still in pjs, or the fact that you have your retainer still in? If I get in the shower now, then it just looks like hubs is the slacker. Lol
Time of Death (aka getting out of bed): 8:45am
While brushing my teeth:
The data that goes on about “it takes ___ long to form a habit” definitely doesn’t apply to people with ADHD. I spent 16yrs doing the same thing every day: get up, start shower water, take out retainer and wash it and put it in it’s case, and brush my teeth so I won’t forget. If I tried to brush my teeth after I shower - I won’t always remember. Mostly because I lose time in the shower with lots of mental distractions and am always in crisis mode when I get out. Yet - the minute I quit my job and have full autonomy over my schedule, I began brushing my teeth after I take my shower. Now, I’m not going to lie, sometimes it’s hours later because, again, I was correct in the assessment that I would forget. 10 years of doing the same thing every day, and 1 schedule change and the habit is gone. Except for today, because today I’m worried the repair men will show up
Shoot it’s 8:47am, I really hope the repair men don’t show up right now. I’m too committed to shower time mentally to deviate from that plan without an emotional dysregulation meltdown.
While in the shower:
You know what it is, it’s the laziness and responsibility dump regarding certain words - like “mouse” is “mice” when plural and doesn’t require extra descriptors it’s not “a mice” it’s just mice. Whereas for Moose or Caribou - the burden of volume is now placed on the speaker, having to be responsible for putting in extra descriptors to let people know it’s “a moose” or “a group of Caribou”. If I were to be put in charge it would just be “mooses” and “Caribous”. Done. One “s” and it’s solved. Why is this not common practice. “I stumbled upon mooses.” “I was fleeing for my life while Caribous were in hot pursuit”. See, it’s just better.
While I'm proud of myself for finally ordering shampoo yesterday, after I rage changed the auto ship date to March, while I was frustrated at a notification of shipment email I received from Aveda in November, when I felt they should have somehow instinctively known that I didn’t need more shampoo that month - I am, however, nearly out of shampoo and now I have to wait for shipping. Maybe Aveda was right and I really did need the shampoo in November. They’re like the Chic-fil-a of hair products - they just know what you need.
Silver bells, silver bellllss… sigh so it’s Christmas songs today… great.
If you put peel and stick tile over regular tile, while I'm sure it leaves a residue that is likely unfun to remove later, does it ruin the tile? Or is it just a pain in the butt like that youtuber said. Also, if I did peel and stick tile for the sole purpose of not having to patch my grout because of poor grout job and dog nails - would that actually work? … It’d probably looks stupid since the entire house is completely tile. Yeah, scrap that idea.
Peel and stick, peel and stick… hockity pockity wockity, wack, blah blah blah break your back. UGHHH! Ever since that stupid clip from The Sword and the Stone on that reality show it’s like “they’re eating the dogs, they’re eating the cats, eat the cats, eat the cats” all over again! Oh no… why did I have to go there.
What was I just shaving? Shoot. Ok, assess. Hair towel is in, washed hair, arm pits feel smooth, body sponges is soaking wet.. oh.. I'm done. Cool.
9:14am, I’m out of the shower, standing in towels, and the repair men show up.
Well.. it’s a good thing I brushed my teeth before I showered.
In case you’re wondering, due to the fact that my husband is much more confident, and had already put pj pants on, he answered the door in his pjs and stalled the repair men while I panic dressed.
He’s a wonderful human.
Please enjoy a picture of my sweet Mango snuggling me, like he does every morning.
-Ellie
